Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Letter to the Boss

Dear Tim, 

I regret to inform you that my husband will be unable to travel to China with you in March.  You see, his valuable services are required elsewhere.  When it comes to reading books and putting Isaiah down for bedtime, his skills are unparalleled.  It's not often that the mommy of this house is shoved away like yesterday's leftover macaroni & cheese, but I just don't cut the mustard when it comes to putting Isaiah to bed.  Furthermore, Evan is the master of getting him back to sleep when he wakes up screaming for a book at 2:30 am.  I attempted to diffuse the situation to no avail.  It wasn't until he stepped in and "managed" the situation that we were both able to enjoy a peaceful night of sleep.

As you can clearly see, there is just no way I can possibly operate my household without Evan for an entire 12 days.  Tantrums, tirades, and general pandemonium will undoubtedly ensue.  There's a good chance I may just end up shipping the kids off to miliary school before they're toilet trained.  In addition, our youngest child is supposed to start eating "real food" during that time and I'm sure you realize how a father cannot be expected to miss such a milestone.  Plus, who is going to wrangle the toddler while I scrub sweet potatoes off the baby's earlobes?  Certainly not the dog.  He'll be too busy licking the mess off the baby's hands. 

The only clear solution would be to allow Evan to stay home and manage both your Quality department and his family.  I am fully prepared to purchase a webcam specifically so he can still perform many of the duties he would have been doing in China.  They invented laptops and Skype for a reason, you know.

Thank you for your understanding.


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