I'm really upset about Evan going to China. I wasn't thrilled, of course, to find out he was going to have to leave next week for a 12 day trip, but finding out that he was going to be sent back for another 2 1/2 week trip already in APRIL was enough to about send me off the deep end. Twice in less that two months? Gone for more than two weeks right before Radium Girls is supposed to open? Me alone with the kids for collectively nearly an entire month?
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??!!!
I'm really trying hard not to complain. I'm doing all I can to remind myself that we are extremely grateful for Evan's job and that he has reached a position in the company that his work is valued enough to put him in this position. What frustrates me to no end is that it really messes up my world big time. How am I supposed to work at MY jobs when he is gone? We both have to be working in order to pay our bills and still we seem to come up short pretty often. I can't work my shifts at the restaurant if he's not there to be with the boys. I can't be at rehearsal to direct my cast if he's not there to be with the boys. What am I going to do? I absolutely cannot miss that much rehearsal that close to the show opening. My cast and my co-director are depending on me and this is a paid position.
And then there's the most obvious reason. I desperately do not want to be alone for that amount of time. I'm one of those dorks who really, really enjoys being with my spouse and I absolutely HATE it when he's gone. From the sleeping alone to the single parenthood, it just plain sucks. I cannot even imagine what it must be like for those folks whose spouse is seving our country in the military. You're stronger than I could ever hope to be.
Oh, and have I mentioned he's pretty sure he'll be going back to China for a THIRD time before July?!
I'm just so upset. I feel like I can't even get my head on straight enough to calmly and rationally figure out what to do. I am so not a fan of China right now.