Thursday, January 13, 2011

Stupid Shoes

I think we need to clear the air about something.  Sure, I realize you're probably going to think I'm a stuffy old fuddy duddy (who can't believe she just used that term), but I just can't take it anymore.  Every time I step in front of your scowling smiling faces as a substitute, I am baffled, befuddled, and sometimes downright flabbergasted.  Let's chat, shall we?

Oh my goodness, your shoes.  Slippers are not, I repeat are NOT, shoes.  They are meant to be worn as you sluff about the interior of your home, not traipsing about the hallways and trodding over the tile floors where that kid from your social studies class puked last week.  Nasty.  Save 'em for at home, sweetie. 

Next, let's discuss these goofy skateboarding shoes I see you walking around in.  They have neon trim and you can't even tie the laces.  All I know is you look like you're preparing for your audition to clown college when you go flopping through the hallway in those beasts since you can't even pick up your feet when you take a step or the blasted things will fly right off!  Pair those things with some skinny jeans and I can feel my retinas burning.  Here's my other question:  Why are you even wearing skateboarding shoes if you aren't on a skateboard?  You don't see anyone going to math class in football cleats, do you?

Whew.  I feel better now.  Maybe next time we'll talk about your jeans and how I really, really don't want to see your panties peeking out to say hello. 

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