Blog Your Heart - February

I want you to know that I was this close to writing a BYH post about three times in January, but I chickened out because I didn't want to be out on a limb without Stephanie writing one too.  I'm such a wimp!  But, much to my delight, she threw one out there for February so that prompted me to get one rocking up in my area here as well.

New to Blog Your Heart?  Here are Stephanie's guidelines for how I write this post. 

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.
2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.
3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive aggressive digs.if you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)


And I'll be linking up with Stephanie at the end of this post as well, so I invite you to read her BYH as well as the posts of others who chose to share this month.

And away we go!

1.  I have the cutest niece in the history of the universe and don't even try to fight me on this one.  I keep staring at the photos I took of her in the moments, minutes, and hours after her birth and I remain in awe of her.  I keep waiting for that panicked phone call from my sister when it suddenly hits her that having a newborn is HARD, but so far it hasn't come.  This has led me to believe that she is either A:  A way better Mommy than I ever was or B: Lying.  But seriously, look at this baby.

2.  I get all upset and freak out when I step on the scale and I've allowed myself to creep back up to 130 pounds.  I know it sounds so stupid, but I feel like that number is the threshold that I am not allowed to cross because I'm terrified of the slippery slope back to being overweight.  When I see that number, I get upset with myself and try to get it in gear for the next week.  On one hand, this is healthy, but I know that the negative self-talk I feed my brain is not.  Gotta work on that.

3.  I just noticed there is snot on my shoulder.  I am 75% sure it is not mine.

4.  Yesterday, I spent the vast majority of the day doing NOTHING.  And it felt fantastic.  Seriously, my husband took care of pretty much everything while I plunked myself down on my bed with our coziest blanket and watched dumb TV shows on the iPad.  He brought me soda and popcorn.  It was the first time I can really recall when I did absolutely nothing on purpose.  I mean, we all have those days where are intentions were good and we really wanted to accomplish a lot, but wound up somehow getting absolutely zilch done.  This was different.  It was purposeful laziness.  I kinda liked it.  Thank you to my hubs for letting me have a day like that!

5.  My baptism is coming up in less than two weeks and I am getting really excited, but also a little nervous.  Ridiculous as it may sound, I'm afraid of not "feeling it" like I am supposed to.  It's meant to be this profound, defining moment in a person's walk with Christ and I so desperately want it to be just that.  Maybe I'm trying too hard.  Again.  Maybe I'm over-thinking it.  Again.

5.  I tend to over-think things a lot.

6.  Am I over-thinking the fact that I over-think things?

7.  Please ignore #5 and #6.

8.  There were adorable Girl Scouts plunked down at the exit of the Pick n Save yesterday and I was physically incapable of saying no to their darling little faces.  I bought a box of Thin Mints because I thought they were Evan's favorite.  I was wrong.  I have since eaten about 80% of the Thin Mints in the box.  If you have my phone number, please text me at about 9:00 this evening to make sure I am on my way to the gym.  Thanks.

9.  Writing about the Thin Mints just prompted me to get up and get two more out of the freezer and pop them in my mouth.  I wish I was joking.

10.  My husband and I are really hoping to take a vacation for our tenth anniversary in 2014.  We started discussing the budget for our romantic retreat and as it turns out, we had very different ideas about what the word "vacation" meant and we have kind of reached an impasse when it comes to planning for this trip.  It doesn't help that I may or may not get a little passive aggressive when I don't immediately get my way.  My vision for this trip was something warm and tropical that involved me reading a lot of books on the beach while sipping cocktails and listening to the waves roll gently over the sand.  His vision was...well....more affordable.  I know he's right, of course.  But I immediately threw up my hands and said, "Forget it!  We'll just go out to eat at Culver's and maybe see a movie instead!"

The issue is still under discussion.

11.  Very often, I have people ask me when I plan on going back to teaching.  Usually my answer is something along the lines of "a couple more years" or "probably after my middle son goes to kindergarten," but the truth is that I've been really thinking hard about whether I really want to go back to teaching.  Of course I miss it, but the course of the politics of teaching over the last year and a half or so have really got me a little scared to try to jump back into it.  I'm going to be paying very close attention to how things develop over the next couple years and be listening carefully to what God is telling me is in his plan.  At this point, I am not entirely convinced that involved me returning to an English classroom.....but we shall see.

12.  My children crack me up on a regular basis.  Seriously, I love that they are so dang funny.  Half the time, they are making me furrow my eyebrows and making wrinkles spontaneously appear around the corners of my eyes, but the rest of the time they are making me smile and giggle like no one else can. 

That's probably enough for today!  Make sure to leave a comment to let me know you stopped by and thank you again to Stephanie for hosting Blog Your Heart!