Sure, I could have spent at least 15 minutes wandering up and down the greeting card aisle at Target taking card after card off the shelf and carefully considering if it appropriately and adequately expressed the adoration and respect I have for my hubby of eight and a half years. I could have spent upwards of $4 on the blasted thing, especially if it came complete with embossing or vellum or glitter or some other such nonsense. Or, I could have forked over an entire Lincoln for one of those huge cards that plays "Hunka Hunka Burning Love" when you open it. Oh yeah, nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like The King.
It wouldn't have mattered what card I chose. He would have read it, nodded and smiled, thanked me politely, maybe given me a kiss if it was really poetic, and then (as casually as humanly possible) thrown it directly in the garbage.
Evan hates cards. He thinks they're dumb.
However, I can't help but think even my fella would have appreciated some of these:
This would be the moment in the blog post where I would typically transition from the sarcastic to the serious and start to give you a list of the for real reasons that I adore my guy. I would rattle on about how he goes out of his way to make me feel attractive, how he makes keeping me happy a priority, and how he has firmly established his role as the leader of our household. I would brag about the very serious conversation we had in the bed the other night about how he wants to be the guy who actually invented the "sarcasm font." Yup, I could do that.
But really, I think this says it all:
Happy Valentine's Day, Evan! You know I love you more than my luggage.
(Name that movie.)
(And I still maintain that it needs to not be an entirely new FONT, but rather an effect that can be placed on any font, much like italics, bold, or underline.)