Friday, April 5, 2013

Five Minute Friday - After

I really liked it last week, so we're going to give it another go-round today.  It's called Five Minute Friday.

Here are the rules as laid out by Lisa-Jo, aka "Gypsy Mama" -

Basically, you set a timer for five minutes and just WRITE.  No editing, no stopping to second-guess yourself, just a free flow of your thoughts hitting paper....keyboard....whatever.  She gives the topic and then you just GO.   Then you link back to Lisa-Jo and invite others to join in.

So this is me....taking the Five Minute Friday challenge.  Feel free to join in!  Just go for it and write for five minutes on today's theme:  After.  I'd love for you to share in the comments the link to your post.  And be sure to link back to the Five Minute Friday hub!

....After



GO.  

I am an After.

When we were getting ready to pack up our whole family and move to a brand new city, it was scary enough.  Add in the fact that every person I met wouldn't understand my "before" and I was downright freaked.  My friends all told me I should wear a T-shirt or a sign on my back that said "I used to be Fat."

Part of me almost wished I could.  At my first week attending the group at church for moms of small children, I met a wonderful woman named Rachele whose personality jived with mine right away.  It wasn't until later when she saw my Before and After photos on Facebook that she really opened up and confessed how she felt a little aloof when our group first met because she felt she was surrounded by all these skinny moms that made her feel uncomfortable.  Once she realized I wasn't "one of them," she saw more of the real me and we were able to have a more honest friendship.  But that illusion of After had to be stripped away first.

I walk around today looking like an After, but it's not the whole story.  The number on the scale and on the tag of my clothes is certainly different than it was a year ago, but who I really am underneath is most definitely more of a During than an After.

While my weight was coming off, God was working on my heart in ways I never imagined.  I now have a whole new set of challenges and struggles that I fight against - pride, vanity - along with some old demons that will likely torment me like Paul's thorn - anger, control issues, selfishness, a desire for approval.

After is a myth.  At least in my case.   

Time's Up.

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