Friday, May 17, 2013

I'm Worn.

I haven't participated in Five Minute Friday for a couple weeks.  Thomas has been in real mood today and has refused to stop crying all morning and has insisted on me holding him in my lap pretty much constantly.  It's made it a little tough to pay bills, register Isaiah for summer camp, and do all the other things I needed to complete on the computer today.  Quite frankly, writing on the blog was the last thing on my mind today.  But then he suddenly calmed down for five seconds and wandered off to seek a toy in his room.  I breathed a short sigh of momentary relief and decided to scan my blog roll real quickly to see if there was anything calling my name I could read in the four seconds he would be entertained. 


I saw the topic for 5 Minute Friday and my heart jumped into my throat.  I set the timer and went for it, resolving to write for the full 5 minutes, even if Thomas wailed through most of it.

He was quiet the entire time. 


Here are the rules as laid out by Lisa-Jo, aka "Gypsy Mama" -

Basically, you set a timer for five minutes and just WRITE.  No editing, no stopping to second-guess yourself, just a free flow of your thoughts hitting paper....keyboard....whatever.  She gives the topic and then you just GO.   Then you link back to Lisa-Jo and invite others to join in.

So this is me....taking the Five Minute Friday challenge.

Today's topic: Song


GO.

 
Get out of town.  I can hardly believe the prompt today is on SONG because I have been thinking about writing about this song for about a week, ever since the big announcement of my train bound for Crazytown.

Saturday night I came home from a really tough night at work.  It was the kind of night that left us all so bent out of shape that we sent someone on a run for shakes and malts.  Rough nights sometimes call for a cocktail, but horrible nights require a chocolate malt.  I stumbled into my bedroom after work and managed to hold my eyes open long enough to tell Evan that I had come to a startling realization.  In my most "this is so obvious and I can't believe it's just dawning on me voice" I proclaimed to my love:

"I've decided that I work way harder than you do."

In retrospect, I blame my prideful assertion on the exhaustion, but imagine my surprise when my darling just chuckled and agreed with me 100%.  "Totally," he said, "there's no doubt that you are the hardest worker in this family."

As much as I thought his acknowledgement would make me feel proud, it just reminded me yet again that I need to get my schedule and priorities (and my overblown ego) in order, but not in the expected way.  I need to push PAUSE for a little bit.  I need to turn the radio off and just be still for a bit.

I'm WORN.



"I've lost the will to fight, so Heaven come and flood my eyes."

This song by Tenth Avenue North moved me to tears as I drove to preschool the morning after realizing I needed to admit my anxiety and seek help for it.  It also provided me with a poignant reminder that, more than any other remedy, I need to find rest in the quiet presence of the Lord and reconnect with my Father.  And I intend to do exactly that. 

TIME'S UP.  


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