Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The Irony is not Lost on Me

I went to the grocery store today after what had already been a tough morning with my brood.  I was happy to find this particular spot in the lot because I felt it was conveniently located to an area of the store I was particularly interested in all of a sudden.

Today I was THAT mom.  You know the one.  She's the frazzled woman who is trying to pick out the lowest calorie pita wraps in the bread aisle, but is interrupted when her older children start trying to tear each others throats out.  While attempting not to tear their throats out herself, this poor mom finally notices that the baby has taken advantage of this diversion and has managed to load up the cart with approximately 14 loaves of Wonder Bread.  As the mother frantically shoves the bread back on the shelf, the baby bursts out in tears because clearly his carb-loading diet plans for the day have been destroyed.

When the 50-something woman in the produce section quips, "My my!  You sure have your hands full!" it is all this mama can do not to burst into tears.  Instead, she swallows hard and admits, "Yes, some days are better than others."

By the time she is finally able to make it through the check-out, both of the older boys have been instructed to keep one hand on the cart AT ALL TIMES, the five year old's eyes are brimming with tears, the three year old's face is puffy and his breath is coming in gasps, and the baby is still worked into a full throttle fit because this poor mother had to take the half eaten raspberry container away from him so she could pay for it.  Mom can still see the eyes of the many fellow shoppers who witnessed her PDDs (Public Displays of Discipline) boring into the back of her skull like laser beams.

She loads the kids back into the minivan and they peel the heck outta there, heading directly for Walgreens because surely TODAY the medication will be in.  See, yesterday she was prescribed some anti-anxiety medication, but when she went to the pharmacy and waited in line for 15 minutes before even making it up to the zoomy tube thingy, she was told there was no prescription there for her as of yet.  So, she vowed to return today after a quick grocery stop.  Maneuvering through construction cones that didn't allow her to turn left and cursing at Siri who was no help at all, she finally arrives back at the drive thru pharmacy line.  She not-so-patiently waits for the two cars ahead of her to be dealt with while the big kids in the back fight and scream over whose turn it is to play with the Anakin Skywalker figurine and the baby is vocally showing his displeasure that he hasn't been fed yet.  Finally, finally it is her turn.  She gives her name, date of birth, zodiac sign and every other piece of information requested only to be told that....yet again....her prescription has not arrived.

Her freak-out commences the second her husband answers the phone on the third ring.

(Needless to say, I covet your prayers today.  Writing is helping and I'm grateful the baby went down easily for his nap, but I'm convinced the kids are out to kill me before the day is out.)

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