Thursday, June 27, 2013

Toll Panic and The Walk of Shame (Mommy Vacation Part 2)

Hey, did you know that you have to pay money to drive on some roads in this country?  Apparently they are called "toll roads" and there is a doozie that conveniently connects the Milwaukee area to Chicago and beyond.  It just so happens that after my inadvertent side trip to the Lake Michigan car ferry port in Milwaukee, I found myself staring at a huge sign that read "PAY TOLL AHEAD."

Cue panic.

Yet another aspect of my solo trip to Michigan that I had failed to plan for.  I lunged for my wallet and scrounged around for the $2.70 this particular toll booth required.  Feeling pretty smug that I had triumphed over this particular hurdle, I carried on.  You see, every other time we have gone to Michigan, we have ridden with my in-laws who have this handy dandy little thing called the iPass that allows them to breeze right through all this ridiculousness without having to manhandle coins and bills while traveling at 60 miles per hour.

What's even more pathetic is that I knew about all this.  I was fully aware of those tolls, but I just dropped the ball in the planning.  One thing I most certainly was NOT aware of was the fact that the tolls would add up to be somewhere in the area of TEN DOLLARS.  Just to drive on the road.  Ridiculous.

So, basically I spent all my small bills at the dumb toll booths so when I finally got to stop at that rest stop to prevent my spontaneous bladder explosion, my attempts to purchase a Diet Dr. Pepper at the vending machine were futile.  Smallest bill I had left was a ten.

Anyway, I managed to avoid any other kind of distress, navigational or otherwise, and I arrived safely at my hotel.  To keep my stay affordable, I hit up my cousin who is kind of a big deal.  She's a manager for Hilton and my girl Hooked.  Me.  Up.


As a complete surprise to me, she had reserved me the suite.  The Governor's Suite, based on my deductions from the signs on the wall.


Sitting room, huge tub with jets, shower stall complete with rainfall shower head....


And wine glasses complete with a personalized note and bag of M&Ms.  Color me excited!  I walked around that ginormous hotel room feeling very spoiled, very blessed, and very aware that I really needed to go to the bathroom.

Now, I've already shared with you the embarrassing tale of how I managed to get lost before I even left Milwaukee, even with the help of GPS.....so I figure it's ok if I just keep digging the hole deeper here and tell you about how I had to hang my head in shame and utter the following sentence to the lovely woman at the front desk of the Hilton Grand Rapids not 30 minutes after I had checked in to the Governor's Suite:

"Ummmmm....I'm so sorry.  But there seems to be a problem with my toilet.  It won't *gulp* it won't FLUSH."

Perhaps I should have followed that up with "I'm from Wisconsin" by way of an explanation, but really I doubt it would have helped much.  Instead, I did the only thing that made sense at the time.


I retreated to the bar with my Kindle and ordered a really big cocktail.

I'm fully aware that this little tale just has you salivating to read more about my little vacation and I promise there are many more accounts to follow.  In the meantime, get caught up here:

PART ONE - The Car Ferry Detour

Until next time!


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