Monday, July 1, 2013

The Mysterious Missing Hour (Mommy Vacation Part 3)

This is Part Three of the Mommy Vacation Saga.  To get caught up on the episodes you've missed, give these posts a read before you dive in to the next chapter.

PART ONE - The Car Ferry Detour
PART TWO - Toll Panic and The Walk of Shame 

After driving several hours, narrowly escaping death from bladder eruption, and having to retreat to the hotel bar for an unexpected cocktail o' shame, I found myself rather sleepy as I returned to my suite.  The toilet situation remedied (thank goodness), I decided if I was going to be even remotely bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for my upcoming evening that a nap was just what was needed. 

See, the plan for the evening was that I was going to finally meet someone I had been friends with for a couple years.  Through the magic world of blogging and Instagram, I became acquainted with a woman named Sara who is basically my cosmic twin.  Only way hotter.

When Project Life first hit the scene in 2010, there weren't nearly as many people who had come to the realization that Becky Higgins was about to revolutionize the scrapbooking industry.  Like most good cults, the movement began slowly and spread through the blog-o-sphere as people (ok, women) across the nation discovered and started sharing about this scrapbooking system.  That's how Sara and I crossed paths, if you will. 

Fast forward a couple years and we basically already considering ourselves friends despite having never met.  When I was planning my little excursion and the genius idea hit me to travel to Grand Rapids because Evan has family (who I adore) there, it suddenly struck me that my blog twin also lived there!  I immediately contacted her and sure enough....we were going to be able to meet.

She told me she had a birthday party to take her kids to from 5-7, but that she would swing by my hotel after the party to pick me up and then we would head out on the town to grab a bite to eat and check out a comedy club downtown.  Sounded perfect to me. 

Except the comedy show wouldn't even start until 10:30 and I was already tired.  Suddenly, this not-so-little lovely was looking pretty darn attractive.  It was kind of like beer goggles....only it was fatigue goggles.

I looked at my phone and it was about 5:30 pm.  I thought to myself, "Perfect.  I can nap for an hour and still have plenty of time to get ready before Sara comes to pick me up."  Now, knowing the issues I had earlier in the day with relying on my phone for the success of my trip, I suppose I should have seen this coming.  But I didn't. 

"Siri, wake me up in an hour."

My head hit the pillow and I was OUT.  COLD.

Somewhere in my sleepy haze brain, I heard my text message alert sound.  Drat, I thought.  I forgot to turn my stupid phone on vibrate.  Rolling over with a slight groan, I grabbed my phone and read the text:

Kid is opening our gift now, then we are outta here!


Immediately I sat up and cursed myself for over-sleeping.  Did my alarm even go off?  I checked the time on my phone and it read 5:55 pm.  Why the heck was Sara coming more than an hour early?  I was about to text her back when I caught a glimpse of the alarm clock sitting next to my bed.  It read 6:55 pm

My mouth opened and out came, "Oh shit."

See, my mother-in-law has been a role model of mine for a long time and one of her most enduring lessons is that every once in a while, a situation comes along when the only appropriate thing to say is "Oh shit."  Nothing else can suffice when these moments occur.  Just go for it and beg God's forgiveness later.

After my expletive came out and I realized that my phone had never automatically adjusted to the Eastern time zone of Grand Rapids, I flew out of bed and sent Sara this text:

Take your time.  My phone never adjusted to your time zone so I just woke up from a nap.  

Flying into action like I was about to be late for my first date, I crammed myself into some SPANX, threw on the outfit I had chosen, touched up my makeup, fixed my bed head and still had time to snap a photo and grab the bottle of wine before I headed out the door to meet my friend.  I plunked myself down on the bench near the entrance of the hotel with the smug little smile on my face. 

That's when I realized I was only wearing one earring.

"Oh shit."

Stay tuned for our next exciting installment where I tell you all about what happened after I climbed into a black SUV outside my hotel with someone I had never met, no questions asked.  (Turns out, she wasn't a crazy psycho murderer - SPOILER ALERT!)

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