Rule #1 - If Mom has spent more than 15 minutes preparing a meal, it is immediately deemed "icky" or inedible. However, if a very similar meal originated in a restaurant sporting a blue roof or showed up via a drive thru window or delivery driver, it is immediately considered "delicious."
Rule #2 - Meals that are not immediately followed by ice cream (or frozen custard or cake pops or Popsicles or freeze pops or cake) are considered null and void. Hysterical fits are required.
Rule #3 - Couches are not for sitting on. They may be used as volcanoes, high dives, pirate ships, the Millennium Falcon, or other comparable such avenues of adventure, but the cushions are required to be thrown to the floor within five minutes of rising in the morning and there must be jumping from such an obscene height that Mom gets nervous.
Rule #4 - When it is time to leave the house...like, five minutes ago....there will always be at least one shoe that refuses to be found.
Rule #5 - Screaming begets screaming. Screaming usually leads to hitting which leads to whining which leads to Time Outs which means more screaming. Rinse and repeat.
Rule #6 - The green light saber is the best light saber and presenting any other option is pointless. This too, leads to whining and screaming.
Rule #7 - Often just trying to do life with several young children will leave you seriously contemplating selling them to the circus. Because, let's face it, you're half way there already.
Rule #8 - Foods that are consistently deemed to be inedible will because delightful delicacies when presented through the magical suggestion of Grandma.
What rules would you add to this list? I'm sure there are more going on around here too, but I ran out of time before I had to bring Isaiah to swimming lessons. :)