Really, it's the only logical explanation I can come up with because I have turned this house upside down in the name of finding that elusive little plastic rectangle of fury and I simply cannot find the dumb thing.
When I left for work on Friday, Micah was acting out the battle scene between Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker and Count Dooku with our darling babysitter, Stephanie. She had agreed to be the bad guy and wielded the red lightsaber while Micah's blue "good guy" weapon blazed back and forth in Jedi-fueled fury. I kissed his head and told him to take it easy on Stephanie since she had not been trained in the Jedi arts for as long as he had.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the remote resting safely in the box that I call "the remote control box" because it is, you know, where the stinking remote controls are supposed to go.
I left for work.
Upon my return, my husband informed me that the remote was missing. I said that was impossible because when I had left the building, the remote was safe in its home. How could it possibly be missing?
Of course, the first question I asked in an attempt to solve this mystery was:
Which Star Wars episode was Micah watching when you got home?
Here's the thing about my Micah, bless his heart. He has a knack for making things he touches disappear. Or break. Or wind up covered in pee.
When we can't find his shoes, we look in the bathroom and we usually find at least one behind the toilet. The other one has been discovered in Thomas' toy box, under the covers in his bed, or even in the costume box. I will put socks on that child only to find him bare footed seven minutes later with no trace of the socks in sight. They usually turn up two months later when I actually get around to sweeping under our couches.
But I've looked in all those places, including under the couches, and the DVD remote isn't there.
So the only logical conclusion is that the same trolls who steal socks in the dryer have stolen my DVD remote so they can watch movies while we sleep. It's the only thing that makes sense.