Friday, November 22, 2013

Blog Your Heart - November Edition

Hi there.  Remember when I used to write these posts more often?  Yup, me too.  It's probably been so long that many of you will have never read a Blog Your Heart post or even know what the heck I'm talking about.  For a little recap, I'm going to borrow the words of Stephanie Howell, the host of this little party.

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.
2. It can be serious, silly, short, long. NOTE:no one said it has to be serious. But it should be authentic.
3. No judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs. Nothing here is whining, though I can't help it if you perceive it that way. It's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

Ok, so that's the scoop.  Basically, it's our chance as bloggers to write whatever the heck we want to write about whatever the heck we want to write about and to join up with others doing the same thing.  If you want to see what others are pounding out on their keyboards, click on the image above to join the party, but remember the rules!

And away we go.

1.  I have blogger envy.  Like, BAD blogger envy.  I recently started working with a pretty big blogger (which I really enjoy, by the way) and I've also started trying to dip my toe in the whole "Ads and PR" pool and unfortunately I have come out feeling more jealous than ever.  While we are struggling to scrape up enough money for my husband to go buy a pair of pants without a hole in the crotch, I see bloggers all around me who are getting free washers & dryers, photo printers, iPhones, and taking vacations every other week.  To be clear, there is nothing wrong with any of that.  In fact, I really don't even want to be a "big" blogger.  I don't want every other post to be sponsored or to feel pigeon-holed in what I write.  I want to be able to write what I want to write when I want to write it, but I'm really struggling with not getting fixated on the swag.  I pour so many hours into this blog that if I were really being honest, I'd admit that it would be nice to get something out of it.

2.  The "soap" flavor of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans is absolutely horrifying.  Both Evan and I were so disgusted by it, that we chickened out and couldn't bring ourselves to try the "vomit" or "earwax" beans.  If you've never read Harry Potter and therefore have no idea what I'm talking about, I feel bad for you.  Go to the library, for the love of Butterbeer!!!

3.  I want to write a book. felt good just writing that and putting it out there.

Maybe this is part of that blogger envy coming out because it seems like every blogger I love recently has announced their book deal, but I've had this desire in my heart for a long time.  My husband's late grandmother wrote a book about their family life after the death of her husband and I can't fully describe the immense pride his family has about that book.  Everyone talks about it and everyone cherishes that book like a priceless treasure.  From the moment I entered this family, there has been talk about when someone else in the family would be the next to write a book and I desperately want to be that person.  I find myself fantasizing about what the cover would look like and doodling possible titles in my planner.  But, just as quickly I slam the door of my heart on that dream and convince myself that it isn't possible.  What on earth would I write? My creative writing skills are pathetic and the material that I write about on the blog has really already been turned into a book by about two thousand other authors.  I feel like I don't have anything authentic to offer and even if I did wake up at 3:00 am with a brilliant idea, I wouldn't even know how to go about turning it into a book. 

4.  I come up with excuses to avoid admitting how important something is to me so I won't be as disappointed.  Have you picked up on this?

5.  The other day, I took my two youngest sons with me to the bookstore in our church so I could pick up the book to go with my upcoming Bible study series and they had a great sale on Veggie Tales DVD - $5 each and it was Buy 2, Get 1 Free.  Pretty nice, huh?  We picked out three DVDs and Micah immediately asked to watch one when we got home.  With ninja-like precision, I hid the other two in my closet so they could end up in Christmas stockings, but he was just fixated on watching this particular DVD right away.  We got in the door and he raced right to the living room to bust it open.  I cautioned, "Micah please wait for Mommy to help you!" but he paid me no mind and tried to yank that DVD out of the case with such force that it snapped.  The best part?  The title of the DVD was "Larry Learns to Listen."  Nice, kiddo. 

The tantrum that followed as I threw the movie in the trash was EPIC.

6.  As it turns out, I love speaking in front of large groups.  This week, I had the opportunity to clip on a microphone and stand on a small stage to speak to the large group of women in my mother's ministry that meets every other Wednesday morning.  I can't really share yet what I spoke about, but I will tell you that it felt AMAZING.  I think my dream job would be to write books and speak to women, offering encouragement and bringing laughter.  Basically, I want to be Angie Smith, Jennie Allen or Beth Moore - complete with gorgeous hair and small waistlines. (Again, let's talk about that envy issue.)

7.  Negative comments cut right to my gut.  I got one icky comment on my last post and I immediately went on the defensive and wrote a reply, defending my position.  It bothered me for hours.  I really need to develop a thicker skin.

8. I have stopped exercising and that is not ok.  When I read this one on Stephanie's BYH, I practically yelled "Preach it!" because her sentiments echoed mine.  It's not so much about the number on the scale, but I can just feel it.  I was happier when I was running and lifting and I had more energy.  If there were some magical way for me to fine 30 hours in each day instead of 24, this problem would be solved.  Thoughts?

9.  Money stresses me out.  Big time.  I keep trying to find more and more ways to add more avenues of income to my plate, including some work from home stuff, but it still never seems to be able to cover everything and we've had several unexpected BIG expenses coming up lately that have left our finances feeling even more unstable than ever.  Even though I'm already working about as hard as I can, I keep pushing myself to do just a little bit more.  I just wonder how much harder I can push before it's too far.

10.  My kids watch way too much TV.  Ask me how much I care.

Thanks for reading!! 

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