Monday, November 11, 2013

Punching Snowflakes

I have precisely 20 minutes before I have to get out of my "blogging chair" and start getting ready for work, so let's bust out a blog post, shall we?

Ladies and gentlemen, it's snowing.

Unfortunately, it is snowing for the first time this season on the very day that I promised my four year old I would take him to the zoo.  In fact, his older brother heard about this plan and got very upset that his younger brothers were going to go to the zoo without him and he proceeded to lecture me about how it was "so not fair" and then stamped up and down in protest.  Any attempt I made to explain that he was required by law to be at school fell on deaf ears.  It's hard to talk someone down when they are perched on the Cliff of Nofair.

In any case, my plans were thwarted by the onset of yet another winter here in Wisconsin.  One of these years, the miraculous is going to happen and we are going to skip it completely, I swear.  Won't that be fantastic?  No slippery roads, no icy windshields to scrape, no shoveling the driveway.  And most importantly, no 20 minute ordeal wrestling with snow pants, snow boots, mittens, hats, and wet socks every single time the kids want to go outside and then come back in five minutes later because - NEWS FLASH - it's COLD out there!

Isn't there a way we can have the prettiness of snow without all the nasty side effects?  It would be kind of like finding a diet pill that makes you lose weight super fast, but doesn't carry with it the undesirable side effects like uncontrollable tremors, blurred vision, or anal leakage.

Sorry.....I guess that was kind of gross.  But that is probably the most horrifying side effect next to death, wouldn't you say?

Wait, what was this post about?  Snow?  I guess I got distracted by my son catching wind of the fact that I must be trying to do something important because he just climbed up into my lap and tried to steal my wedding rings.

I can't make this stuff up, people.

So Isaiah was mad because I was going to take his brothers to the zoo where we would freeze our tushies off in the 32 degree weather and get pelted with rain/sleet/snow all morning.  Honestly, I'm not really sure what he was all ticked off about.  Regardless, I changed our plans at the last minute and I sent an email to my fellow playdate mamas to meet at a local indoor play center instead.  As a special bonus, it was free coffee day.  Why on earth wouldn't they make every day free coffee day? 

Now Micah's wailing because a Papa John's delivery car just pulled up to the curb in front of our house and the delivery man brought a pizza to the house across the street.  He is claiming to be "soooooo hungry that he's staarrrrrrving."  Who orders pizza at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Monday??  Weird.

I disappointed Micah a lot today, I guess. 

No, we aren't going to the zoo anymore. 
No, you can't punch snowflakes. 
No, you can't go ask the neighbors for a slice of pizza. 
No, I won't order a pizza just for you. 
No, you can't eat Iron Man's helmet. 
No, you are not going to go live in a treehouse.  (At least not now that winter has shown up.)

I love that boy so much.

Dang.  Time's up.  Better go get ready for work and hope that I don't have to explain to Isaiah that his brother swallowed his birthday present. 

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