Sunday, February 23, 2014

On Chinese Food and Farts

I wrote a really fun post this afternoon involving Chuck E Cheese, a green slap bracelet, Jesus, and farts.  I submitted it for a writing contest and one of the rules was that the piece had to be unpublished.  So, sorry.  You don't get to read it just yet.  If I don't end up being picked as one of the winners, I will get that sucker up here stat, don't you worry.  I know you're just chomping at the bit to read a blog post about Jesus and farts.

I'm going to write that little phrase just one more time, just in case some weirdo is out there on Google right now using the search terms "Jesus and farts."  Just guaranteed myself another hit to the blog.


Oh, let's see.  What else can I follow that kind of introduction up with?  Not much, that's what.  Not.  Much.

I'm currently looking at my To Do list for the week and trying not to throw up.  I still need to go drop of our tax documents to get our return started and hear that's kind of a big deal that I really shouldn't keep putting off again and again just because it's "too snowy," "too sunny," or "too annoying" to drive into Milwaukee.  I also need to get Isaiah registered for T-Ball this spring because he won't stop badgering me about it until I actually do it.  Evan's going to be so thrilled to be required to schlep all the kids to weekly sports practices again.  Tee hee for me.

Speaking of Evan, he posted this photo on Instagram earlier today.  

Friends, that is FOOD.

Let's just take a moment to let that soak in, shall we?

I'm particularly horrified by the very phallic appearance of whatever that stuff is in the top left corner.  I was too terrified to ask Evan what it really was.  The things with legs in the front somewhat resemble soft shell crabs, perhaps?  Maybe?

It all looks like something out of that dinner scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Oh, and he got the boys toy guns that make loud obnoxious noises and light up and could very possibly land him in some sort of interrogation room at the Shanghai airport where he will be at the mercy of the Chinese TSA.

It's something I can't really think too much about right now or that "I want to throw up" feeling is going to come right on back. light is off.  Time for zombies. 

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