Thursday, February 20, 2014

Pillow Jumping and Toy Tossing

Oh, my friends.

It's almost all the forces of chaos just came after me with a vengeance as soon as Evan's airplane took off from the runway.  I have yet to sit down and try to muster up the words to tell this story in a way that gives it the credit it deserves, but I haven't been able to do it yet. 

It involves seven inches of snow, a snow-blower, a whole lot of yelling and mind-swearing, followed by a very difficult phone call with a husband on the other side of the planet. 

I don't know that I've ever felt like more of an idiot than I have this week.  But that's a story for another day and I promise to tell it.

For now, we've been doing a lot of pillow jumping.

And the dishes.  So many dishes.  I really think I need to start buying a whole bunch of paper plates and other disposable utensils and such so that I don't have to do as many dishes while Evan's gone.  Thankfully I do get some help:

Here's a problem that I really am struggling with that I honestly do not know how to handle.  Micah (my four year old) has behavior issues every time his Daddy is gone.  True to his pattern, I have received some rough behavior reports from both his preschool teacher and the teacher in his class that he attends while I'm in my Bible study group. 

Despite talking seriously with him about what good behavior looks like versus what bad behavior looks like, following through on my proposes consequences, and trying to brainstorm with his teachers, we have been dealing with him throwing things across the room, hitting his classmates with various items, pushing kids, and throwing fits.  None of this is too horrifying when graded on the curve of Being a Four Year Old, but it is troubling for me when I have to get pulled aside for one-on-one conferences with multiple teachers in multiple settings to address these issue before he even gets into the public school setting of 4K that is coming up all too quickly. 

I know part of it can be attributed to missing Daddy, but there is definitely more to it than that.  I'm just going to have to wait it out and do my best while he is gone and then we are going to have to really put our heads together to come up with a plan of attack for our sweet Micah.  He has such a darling heart and a sweet soul.  He just sometimes forgets how to take the time to decide if the little voice in his head is whispering good ideas or bad ideas into his ears. 

He is going to be a force to be reckoned with as a teenager, make no mistake about it.  :)


  1. Hey, unsolicited advice I am sure but my husband used to do a ton of international travel when my boys were little too. One thing that worked for me when dad was away was fun stuff that we would do ONLY when dad was out of town. We had kind of a tradition of a few things that we only did. The upside, the kids didn't think it was so bad AND it was something to take away (and threaten to take away) if behavior was not up to snuff. Believe me I had plenty of survival mode weeks and they were far from perfect but I found that and having plenty of wine at home for after the kids were in bed both were key to my survival (and eventual enjoyment). It's hard not to be resentful of that traveling husband too and if I got my head wrapped around the fun that would be had while he was gone (instead of how hard it is to be a single parent) it made things easier.
    Again, I know, unsolicited advice and easier said than done but hoping that it will help. Hang in there!

    1. That's a great idea! What kind of special things did you do? I'd love to get some tips.

      What makes it more difficult for us is that I work nights and weekends, so I'm home with the littlest ones during the day, but then I have to have babysitters come watch them four nights a week and for about 12 hours on Saturdays. It makes it tough. :(

    2. For everyone its different I think. For my kids it was watching a special movie with the sitter or with me, eating breakfast for dinner, or getting McDonalds (they NEVER get McDonalds). I let them take long bubble baths because their dad never had the patience for it. I know you have the kids with a sitter a lot but maybe you can brainstorm with your kids about what they like to do with the sitter that they don't normally do with you. And then when you do get a chance to hang out with them, what special thing would they like to do. Right now my 6 year old LOVES one on one time with me playing Uno of all things. Maybe extra work on your part in thinking up these rewards but may be the ticket to heading off some attention-seeking behavior?
      Hope that helps. Julie


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