I'm working on it, really I am. My husband insists that I have made huge improvements in this area over the past couple years, but sometimes things happen that are so unexpected that I can't help but feel a bit shaken.
I think this counts.
I was driving to church last Wednesday morning to meet up with my wonderful ladies in the Mom's ministry I attend. Two of my three sons were in the van with me, happily singing along to the Frozen soundtrack. We made a left turn onto the street the church is on and soon after the turn, the right lane was closed off due to construction. I was in the left lane, but there were two cars over in that right lane with their turn signals on beginning to make their move to merge into my lane. I hit my brake to slow down to allow them in and I immediately felt the impact as a pickup truck slammed into the back of our van. Thankfully the cars in front of me were not so close as to create a domino effect, but the noise combined with the force of the collision had scared the living daylights out of the kids.
Praise God the kids were only frightened and not hurt.
Praise God that I was uninjured as well.
Praise God that the driver of the truck was uninjured, kind, apologetic, concerned and amiable.
Praise God for the quick response of the police and fire department whose primary concern was the well-being of my children.
Praise God for my friends from church who drove by the accident and launched into action to come rescue my kids from the van, bring me coffee, and pass around a card of encouragement.
It's only metal and paint and that's all that was lost. Praise God for his protection on that morning.
As you can imagine, it's been a frustrating week since the accident. Dealing with the insurance claim, initiating the estimate and repair, obtaining the rental vehicle, waiting for the estimate and then negotiating with the claims office once the van was deemed "totaled," the pressure of starting to shop for a new van when our budget was really not expecting it.
It's a lot.
So please bear with me as things are a bit quiet over here. I'm elbow-deep in printouts from Autotrader and CarGurus.com since we have about a week to find and purchase a van. It's also taking a ton of energy for me to keep my anxiety from taking over and to try to keep my anger from flaring.
Praise God for a mother-in-law who sends me a text at the very moment I need it, encouraging me to read Psalm 37.
We are safe.
It's just a van.
And we are so thankful.