Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Micah's Special Book

If I were to go back through the blog archives and start counting how many posts could be filed under the heading of "Micah's Big Bag o' Crazy," there would be a lot of posts.  Posts about potty training, posts about destroying his room, posts about him taking off his pants at random inappropriate moments, posts about wandering around the neighborhood dressed as a lion.

It's the dimple on his right cheek that saves him half of the time, folks.  Sure, he may look charming and harmless at first sight, but this guy will eat the dog food, throw a chair at his teacher, use up all the toilet paper, and randomly fall and bust his head on something all within a five minute time period.

There are days when I wake up and ask the Lord specifically give me the strength, wisdom, patience, fortitude, and gag reflex I need to handle whatever Micah will throw at me that day.

Other times, he is just plain hilarious.

I took Micah and his little brother to the library.  Thomas was in a touchy mood already and when I told him he couldn't just sit at the computers and play Dora the Explorer the entire time we were there, he lost his ever loving mind.  Snot streaming down his face and into his mouth as I frantically tried to stay calm (man, is that ever an oxymoron) and handle the situation like a mother who has even an inkling of a clue what she's doing.  I set down the stack of five books I planned to check out and read in my abundance of free time (aka "the 2 minutes I get to sit on the toilet by myself before a kid barges in and starts asking anatomy questions") and started to dig a Kleenex out of my Mary Poppins purse.

While Thomas wailed and howled "Dooooraaa!!!  Doooorrraaa!!!" over and over in the middle of the library, Micah was happily playing over in the adorable little children's activity area, behaving like a saint.  He approached another little girl in the play kitchen and they immediately whipped up a pretend scene of cooking dinner.  I managed to drag Thomas away from the computers and into the family bathroom for a Time Out so he could get himself under control.  After the sobbing stopped, I tried to encourage him to go play with his brother.  It took some coaxing, but he was soon interested in playing with the letter magnets and I breathed a sigh of relief, opening up one of the books from my stack and smiling a bit at my triumph.

Rookie move, Sarah.  Rookie.  Move.

After about a minute and a half, I looked up to see what four letter words my son had created on the magnet board, but Thomas wasn't there.  Micah was now moving pegs around into holes and getting an unusual amount of enjoyment out of it, so I decided to just leave well enough alone there.  Walking around the activity area and searching all the stations, Thomas was nowhere to be found.

I turned to look at the computers and there that little snot-blossom sat - red headphones on his ears and helping Dora find her way to the playground via the Troll Bridge.

"Micah, go pick a book.  We are LEAVING."

Recognizing my Mom Voice, Micah stood up and double-checked what his instructions were.

"I can chose ANY book?  To take home??!!"
"Yes, Micah.  Pick out a book to check out while I go deal with your brother."

He trotted off to peruse the stacks and make his selection while I locked my eyes on the fugitive who was too enthralled with the antics of Backpack to even realize he was busted.  I took off the headphones and told him it was time to GO.  He immediately picked up right where he had left off and started to scream.  Thankfully, Micah was already at my side with his book selection in hand.

"Thank you so much for listening Micah.  We need to go.  What book did you pick?"

He held up his book proudly and proclaimed, "Dis One!!!"

When I saw it, it took every ounce of strength I had not to burst out in the kind of laughter that leads to mild incontinence.  While I simultaneously restrained Thomas from fleeing back to the scene of the crime, I double checked with Micah to make sure that this book was indeed the one he wanted.

He was very clear.  This was the winner.

KEY POINT - Micah can't read yet.

We checked out and headed back out to the van, Micah clutching his prize the entire way.  I couldn't help myself.  I asked him to smile for me with the book he chose.

I suppose it could be worse.  At least he didn't pick up Why Daddy is Going Away.

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