In 2012, I lost 75 pounds. I started in January and by September I was weighing in at the lowest weight I had been since my first year of high school. For the first time in a long time, I felt confident in my own skin and comfortable wearing fun clothes. I actually felt pretty.
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| At my lowest weight |
I also obsessed over every bit of food I ate and felt like I had to run an extra two miles or spend another hour at the gym if I ate a single cookie. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for healthy eating and exercise but looking back on it now I think I was a little too concerned with the number on the scale and not nearly interested enough in learning how to maintain a healthy lifestyle for the long haul.
Right after I reached my goal weight, we moved to a new city and I found it was difficult to keep up the old routines that had worked so well for my weight loss. I used to go for a run after putting the boys to bed because I lived in a village of 700 people. I rarely even saw a car go by, let along run into someone else. Now I live in a city of 70,000 and I'm afraid to run at night because I don't want to get hit by a car or encounter some sort of crazy person who bashes me over the head with a rock and throws my body in the river. Back then, I only worked two nights a week. Now I work two jobs that add up to about 55+ hours each week. By the time I finally get home at night, I'm too exhausted to even lace up running shoes, let alone work out. And the mornings? Forget about it. I've tried. It's already an uphill battle trying to get me out of bed in enough time to get everyone ready for school and work and I find it impossible to wake up earlier.
It sounds like such a cop-out to give the old excuse of "I'm too busy" to exercise, but that is where I find myself. In addition, I've lost my grip on the diet that was so effective and returned to my old ways.
Where has this left me? Without pants that fit and a bad attitude, that's where. I've only rebounded by about 10 pounds, but that still makes me mad. On top of it, I've lost all the muscle tone I developed when I was doing Crossfit workouts like a boss.
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| Where I'm at now - about 10 pounds over my ideal weight |
I'm sick of it and I want to do something about it, but I feel stuck. Maybe I need to go back in the blog archives and read my own advice. Maybe I need to just suck it up and get up early or stay up late, but I'm already so tired that I don't want to risk getting even less sleep.
Just remembered that I need to be on the lookout for coupons to get cheap Halloween candy for trick-or-treating. See? I have problems.
I know people doing this clean eating thing, the Shakeology thing, the Beachbody coach thing, the PX90 thing, the Insanity thing, all the things. I've seen all the things. Heck, I did one of The Things. Maybe I just need to jump back on the WW train and get back after it. If it worked once, it would likely work again. As for figuring out how to get my butt back in gear and exercising? Now that's a struggle I really have no idea how to remedy.
