When is the last time you got so excited about something you couldn’t even think straight? Suddenly there is inspiration everywhere you look and you are irrationally bothered by the things that should come naturally, like eating and paying bills on time. Pinterest boards take on a life of their own and overnight you realize you've turned into one of those weirdos you sometimes see at Starbucks is always hogging the good chair while they sip on their Earl Grey tea and stare at random stacks of multi-colored index cards, frequently muttering things like "where can I buy a roll of caution tape" or "no, Dumbledore wouldn't be caught dead in a vest."
Inside all of us is a corner of our heart where our passions lie, just waiting for something to jolt it awake with an intensity that cannot be ignored. When we finally get a little glimpse of what that secret place might hold, it ignites a fire that races straight to our brain, causing us to go into overload with ALL THE THINGS. All the glorious ideas and resources and dreams that are suddenly coming into view. Vision gets cloudy and remarkably clear all at the same time. We feel exhilarated yet sick to our stomach with fear.
When we are the brink of finding our Awesome, it consumes our entire being. It's getting a taste of the thing that we were put on this earth to do and our soul explodes with the possibilities that lie ahead.
I can't help but wonder if it might be a little like how Peter felt when he cast his nets into deep water that day after the teacher from Nazareth had climbed into his boat. He had been awake all night, entrenched in the hard labor of fishing and coming up empty. Exhausted and disappointed, he cleaned his nets and got ready to pack it up for the day so he could try again that evening. But then he approached, the man who had healed his mother-in-law's fever, who was rumored to be able to do the impossible. Now this very man was climbing into his boat. Despite his fatigue, Peter agrees to put his boat out on the water so his teaching would be heard better by the people on the shore.
And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch."
(Luke 5:4 ESV)
Ok, letting you hang out in my boat is one thing, but this is another entirely. This is not how it is done!! Everyone knows that fishing in the Sea of Galilee is done at night, in the shallows by the shore, certainly not in the light of day in deep waters! This is pointless, crazy, useless. It doesn't make sense. It's a waste of time and energy, and I'm running pretty low on both at the moment, thank you very much.
From the shore, Awesome seems impossible. But when it is the Master leading us to deep waters, everything changes.
And Simon answered, "Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets." And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.
(Luke 5:5-6 ESV)
From no fish at all to a catch so big the boat begins to sink and the nets begin to break. Jesus is leading us toward an Awesome so incredible that all our assumptions are overwhelmed and all we can do to respond is to worship and follow Him.
But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord."
And when they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed him.
(Luke 5:8, 11 ESV)
Finding our Awesome means paying attention when the Master shows up and gives his instructions.
It means being willing to do that crazy thing that makes absolutely no sense.
It means silencing the voices that threaten to keep us on the shore and hear only the voice of Truth.
In spite of exhaustion, failure, rationality, and fear….we will find our Awesome just as He prepared it for us.
Go out into deep waters and at His word, find your Awesome.