Thursday, May 7, 2015

10 Things That Made My Threenager Lose His Mind

Thomas is in a difficult season right now.

Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, causes him to launch into a fit. When he wakes up in the morning, the first thing out of his mouth is usually one of these phrases:

1. Can I play games?
2. Can I watch a show?
3. I don't want to go potty!
4. I don't like breakfast.
5. I want to stay in PJs.

If our response to any of these questions goes contrary to his desires, his face immediately morphs into something unrecognizable and a shrill siren comes flying out of his lungs. The corners of his mouth turn so far down that they kiss his shoulders, something rivaling those ears from that "Do Your Ears Hang Low?" song. The tears explode from his eyes and his response to his parents' tyrannical rule is always the same - BUT I WANT TO!!!!

That's our cue to get out our Serious Voice and firmly lead Thomas to see things our way. The kid goes potty, gets dressed, eats breakfast and is sent off to school with a smile on his face and everything is peachy.


Sure, until we get into the van and he flips again because Micah walked around the wrong side of the van or because he can't wear his baseball glove to school. Or perhaps it is because Isaiah found a penny on the ground and now Thomas is convinced we are holding out on him and comes storming back into the house and demands we pay up - "You give me coins!!!"

If we can't laugh at the lunacy of parenting a three-year-old, I think we can all agree that we would just end up curled up in the fetal position under piles of dirty laundry eating old Halloween candy.

Ten Things That Made My Threenager Lose His Mind - This Week.

1. He dropped a Cheerio on the floor.
2. His brothers were singing the Beyblades theme song.
3. I didn't do the voices right when I read David and Goliath.
4. The monkey tail was missing from his costume.

5. His preschool does not allow Power Rangers Samurai swords.
6. Shoes - Had to put them on, had to take them off, wrong color, wants to put them on himself, can't put them on himself, can't find them.
7. The scrape on his knee that heeled more than a week ago is still visible.
8. Pooping.
9. He dropped a nickel inside his carseat. INSIDE it. (How does that even happen??)
10. Mommy made him take a selfie.

Then I told him if he quit his crying, I would let him push the button when we were done.

And I got this.

Nailed it.

You just earned yourself some iPad time, punkin.

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